Teachable Part 2 – indirect feedback
Meltdown. You know the kind—the kind that stops rehearsals. At a Sunday-morning-only rehearsal, no less. Apparently I frustrated one of the musicians. The first indication was her tears. I know…it’s a gift to be this good at reading people.
Her emotions were anything but “indirect,” but they only told me of the immediate issue. There was an underlying problem that I didn’t [want to] see. After this, I knew I had to.
Over a $5 footlong after church, I asked my trusted friend and drummer, “Am I that hard to follow?” His caps lock “YES” couldn’t have come any quicker unless he was psychic. In my rush to cover all that needs to be covered in a rehearsal that’s already too short, I tend to jump ahead. And back. And to a different song. I considered making excuses and passing blame, but what’s that determination of leadership, “Look back and see who’s following…”?
So now I’m trying to look at what people aren’t saying. Because they say a lot when they “aren’t saying.” This is huge for leadership. But also for musicians who weekly rub up against each other. Look at what your leader/teammate/pastor is NOT saying: you may just learn something.
Read Ephesians 4:2-3
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
- How does Ephesians 4:2-3 apply to us looking for indirect feedback?
- What are some non-verbal cues others may give us to that let us know that we’ve messed up?
- Everyone has blind spots. What are some ways to uncover our own blind spots?
- Being teachable requires looking for other’s non-verbal cues in order to grow. Not everyone will say what they’re thinking. However, when it comes to giving feedback, it is healthier to give it directly rather than indirectly.
Do you agree with this statement, why or why not?