People that frustrate worship leaders (part 1)

I found this great post at Chico Woo’s blog. He’s kindly agreed to let us post it here too.

I am not a worship leader, but if I were, these are some of the pet peeves that I would have. If you are worship leader please add yours to the list.

Paraphernalia Worshippers. There are a group of worshippers that need extra stuff to make worship interesting for them.

• Tambourines. Nothing irritates a worship leader more than people in the congregation that bring their own instruments. It is an unspoken rule that instruments should be confined to the stage only. Tambourines are no exception to this rule. Actually, tambourines were the reason for this rule.
• Shofars. Some of you may not know this, especially if you are from a more conservative background, but in our movement shofars are popular. Often at special events in the middle of a silent moment, somebody will decide to blow the shofar. If you have ever heard a shofar you know that they are in a weird key and clash with the music. When you blow it during a song or quiet interlude it is the most distracting thing! Also, I have never met a great shofar player.
• Banners and flags. Maybe this is strictly in our movement, but I am not sure who decided that banner and flag waving was cool. If you want to twirl something how about skipping banners and going for twirling fire batons! Fire is cool in a service.

I have thought about putting a box by the door like TSA security does and all of your worship paraphernalia needs to be left in the box before you go into the church auditorium.

Clap Dysfunctional Worshippers.

• People who do on-beat clapping. There is that one lone person in the church service that has to try and be nonconformist and starts clapping on the on-beat. One clapper inspires another clapper and soon we have a clap collision – on and off.
• People that do fancy clapping. This clapper decides to add a double or triple clap in-between claps. You may have the gift and you want to share it, but when you fancy clap everyone else thinks they can fancy clap also. This is a clapping disaster waiting to happen.
• People who are non-clappers. It is people that refuse to clap on a song that needs clapping. That means that I have to start clapping and I am trying to sing a song plus hold a microphone in one hand. I am not getting one of those hands-free Britney Spears Drive Thru Window microphones. I can’t clap with my hands because I have to hold a microphone, so I have to start clapping against my forearm. The inside of the forearm. The most tender part of the forearm. Look, I understand worship is supposed to be a sacrifice, but do I have to sacrifice the flesh of my forearm for you so that you will clap? Go ahead; slap your forearm, the tender part of your forearm. See how that feels. Not great. So clap. C’mon, if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands. If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!