{"id":5983,"date":"2011-05-12T10:35:02","date_gmt":"2011-05-12T10:35:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.musicademy.com\/?p=5983"},"modified":"2019-07-31T16:27:20","modified_gmt":"2019-07-31T16:27:20","slug":"the-feminisation-of-worship-songs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.musicademy.com\/blog\/the-feminisation-of-worship-songs\/","title":{"rendered":"The feminisation of worship songs?"},"content":{"rendered":"
The feminisation of worship songs?<\/div>\n

I\u2019ve just been at a conference, which was awesome and being a good worship pastor, I went to the seminar on worship. I\u2019ve been to lots of worship seminars (all very helpful) but in the Q&A at the end, there\u2019s always this one question from the floor (and it always comes from a guy) and it is this;<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think that there are too many \u2018feminine\u2019, \u2018Jesus, you\u2019re my boyfriend\u2019 songs out there and do you think they put men off coming to church because it is hard for men to think in terms of \u2018falling in love\u2019 with Jesus?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And then this is suggested as one of the reasons why we have so few men in the church-because we do not speak the language of men in worship.<\/div>\n
I can totally see the point of their question- a heterosexual man singing about falling in love with Jesus, who was\/ is a man is, I can imagine, totally bizarre and unpleasant. But, the question also perplexes me a lot too for a number of reasons, which the sociologist left in me from my degree is fascinated with!<\/div>\n
Most of the songs singing about God\u2019s love are written by men<\/div>\n
When this question is asked, I often feel responsible that men cannot connect with these songs in our worship and wonder how I can make the worship more accessible and then I remember that nearly every song in my worship set (including the intimate ones) was written by a man\/ group of men. As far as I know, these guys are pretty average, masculine men. I mean, most of them have wives and play football etc (if these count as masculine attributes?) So there must be a reason why they write these personal songs about an intimate relationship with Jesus. In fact, I think we should give them a pat on the back, as isn\u2019t it the goal of our Christian lives to grow in our relationship with God in deeper and more intimate ways<\/div>\n
Is love and falling in love a feminine attribute? Even the manliest man falls in love.<\/div>\n
I don\u2019t understand why we\u2019ve decided to label intimate Christian worship songs as feminine, as in the secular music world, you don\u2019t think anything less of a man writing a love song. What makes a worship song feminine? I don\u2019t get it. Even Bon Jovi sung about flowers \u201cBed of Roses\u201d. I\u2019m pretty sure every man out there owns at least one soppy love song in their music collection. Does this make them less of a man? What about Shakespeare\u2019s sonnets? Solomon\u2019s Song of Songs? John\u2019s 3 letters on love? The countless Theologians who have journalled their experiences of God\u2019s love? Throughout history, it is through men that God has most communicated and described his love and that was brought to fullness in the person of Jesus- a man. Obviously the male majority writings are mainly because of cultural reasons, but God has still managed it fine! Love and intimacy are not masculine or feminine but universal. We all experience love. Yes there are different types, but both men and women are made to receive love and live in intimate relationships.<\/div>\n
In the last 5 years or so there haven\u2019t been many of these intimate songs written<\/div>\n
The songs that seem to cause the most tension were mostly written in the late 90s\/ early 00s during a time of renewal (Toronto blessing), when people were experiencing the Father\u2019s love in a new way- or before that in the 70s\/ early 80s. Our current new songs are mostly anthemic and talk of God\u2019s greatness. There are very few new songs on surrender, adoption and intimacy circulating about. This might be because God is revealing himself primarily in this way right now, but we still need songs about God\u2019s love. After all, it is his love that changes us. I want more not less!<\/div>\n
Women also find the concept of falling in love with Jesus weird.<\/div>\n
I have never fancied Jesus. I have never flirted with him in my quiet times. There is no sexual tension in our relationship. It\u2019s just plain wrong to think of Jesus in those terms. My concept of giving my love and receiving God\u2019s is always in the context of his love not being my equal. Mine comes from a place of unworthy thankfulness and part-knowledge of just how awesome he is. God\u2019s love comes from a place of him humbling himself to my level and it far exceeds my own in its extravagance. God\u2019s love is holy. When I experience it, I don\u2019t just feel a warm-glow feeling like when I\u2019ve fallen in love with a guy. Oh no, I feel the fire of it that burns away the unholy in me and cleanses me. His love is transforming. It goes beyond the emotional and physical, to the depths of my soul. He knows me better than I know myself. He welcomes me into his embrace, but his love is so weighty I don\u2019t often make it into his arms and end up bowed low in reverence. It is more intimate than I know, and yet I can\u2019t get too close because reaches too far beyond all that I am. It is constant and dependable. He always respects and protects my vulnerability, I am always enough as I am, I am never judged, always accepted. Now I can\u2019t think how this is anything like human love.<\/div>\n
I do confess that I get frustrated with the \u201clove songs to Jesus question\u201d, but I also recognise we do have a problem- that we are affected by our culture which has put love hand in hand with sex. We are such a sexualised nation that it interrupts our understanding and exploration of intimacy with God and worship leaders need to be sensitive to this. I\u2019m trying to figure out how we can promote the right kind of intimacy in our services and use these songs the way they were written to be sung because we do need to sing about how much we love Jesus.<\/div>\n
Advice appreciated!<\/div>\n

And then this is suggested as one of the reasons why we have so few men in the church-because we do not speak the language of men in worship.<\/p>\n

I can totally see the point of their question- a heterosexual man singing about falling in love with Jesus, who was\/ is a man is, I can imagine, totally bizarre and unpleasant. But, the question also perplexes me a lot too for a number of reasons, which the sociologist left in me from my degree is fascinated with!<\/p>\n

1. Most of the songs singing about God\u2019s love are written by men.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When this question is asked, I often feel responsible that men cannot connect with these songs in our worship and wonder how I can make the worship more accessible and then I remember that nearly every song in my worship set (including the intimate ones) was written by a man\/ group of men. As far as I know, these guys are pretty average, masculine men. I mean, most of them have wives and play football etc (if these count as masculine attributes?) So there must be a reason why they write these personal songs about an intimate relationship with Jesus. In fact, I think we should give them a pat on the back, as isn\u2019t it the goal of our Christian lives to grow in our relationship with God in deeper and more intimate ways.<\/p>\n

2. Is love and falling in love a feminine attribute? Even the manliest man falls in love.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t understand why we\u2019ve decided to label intimate Christian worship songs as feminine, as in the secular music world, you don\u2019t think anything less of a man writing a love song. What makes a worship song feminine? I don\u2019t get it. Even Bon Jovi sung about flowers \u201cBed of Roses\u201d. I\u2019m pretty sure every man out there owns at least one soppy love song in their music collection. Does this make them less of a man? What about Shakespeare\u2019s sonnets? Solomon\u2019s Song of Songs? John\u2019s 3 letters on love? The countless Theologians who have journalled their experiences of God\u2019s love? Throughout history, it is through men that God has most communicated and described his love and that was brought to fullness in the person of Jesus- a man. Obviously the male majority writings are mainly because of cultural reasons, but God has still managed it fine! Love and intimacy are not masculine or feminine but universal. We all experience love. Yes there are different types, but both men and women are made to receive love and live in intimate relationships.<\/p>\n

3. In the last 5 years or so there haven\u2019t been many of these intimate songs written<\/strong><\/p>\n

The songs that seem to cause the most tension were mostly written in the late 90s\/ early 00s during a time of renewal (Toronto blessing), when people were experiencing the Father\u2019s love in a new way- or before that in the 70s\/ early 80s. Our current new songs are mostly anthemic and talk of God\u2019s greatness. There are very few new songs on surrender, adoption and intimacy circulating about. This might be because God is revealing himself primarily in this way right now, but we still need songs about God\u2019s love. After all, it is his love that changes us. I want more not less!<\/p>\n

4. Women also find the concept of falling in love with Jesus weird.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have never fancied Jesus. I have never flirted with him in my quiet times. There is no sexual tension in our relationship. It\u2019s just plain wrong to think of Jesus in those terms. My concept of giving my love and receiving God\u2019s is always in the context of his love not being my equal. Mine comes from a place of unworthy thankfulness and part-knowledge of just how awesome he is. God\u2019s love comes from a place of him humbling himself to my level and it far exceeds my own in its extravagance. God\u2019s love is holy. When I experience it, I don\u2019t just feel a warm-glow feeling like when I\u2019ve fallen in love with a guy. Oh no, I feel the fire of it that burns away the unholy in me and cleanses me. His love is transforming. It goes beyond the emotional and physical, to the depths of my soul. He knows me better than I know myself. He welcomes me into his embrace, but his love is so weighty I don\u2019t often make it into his arms and end up bowed low in reverence. It is more intimate than I know, and yet I can\u2019t get too close because reaches too far beyond all that I am. It is constant and dependable. He always respects and protects my vulnerability, I am always enough as I am, I am never judged, always accepted. Now I can\u2019t think how this is anything like human love.<\/p>\n

I do confess that I get frustrated with the \u201clove songs to Jesus question\u201d, but I also recognise we do have a problem- that we are affected by our culture which has put love hand in hand with sex. We are such a sexualised nation that it interrupts our understanding and exploration of intimacy with God and worship leaders need to be sensitive to this. I\u2019m trying to figure out how we can promote the right kind of intimacy in our services and use these songs the way they were written to be sung because we do need to sing about how much we love Jesus.<\/p>\n

Advice appreciated!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

\"Sarah-De-Jong\"<\/a>Sarah de Jong is\u00a0Worship Minister at\u00a0St Gabriel\u2019s Church, Cricklewood, London<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Its great to have these guest posts from worship leaders, musicians and others. If you have a burning issue that you\u2019d like to talk about on our website, please do get in touch.<\/p>\n

Other posts you might like:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Is it just me or are a lot of worship songs mediocre?<\/a><\/p>\n

The Mandy Test \u2013 romantic lyrics in worship songs<\/a><\/p>\n

Why men hate going to church<\/a><\/p>\n

Lyrics and story telling \u2013 guest post by Hillsong\u2019s Mia Fieldes<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The feminisation of worship songs? I\u2019ve just been at a conference, which was awesome and being a good worship pastor, I went to the seminar on worship. I\u2019ve been to lots of worship seminars (all very helpful) but in the Q&A at the end, there\u2019s always this one question from the floor (and it always […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5303,"featured_media":22342,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[701,98],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe feminisation of worship songs? | Musicademy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.musicademy.com\/blog\/the-feminisation-of-worship-songs\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The feminisation of worship songs? | Musicademy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The feminisation of worship songs? 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