{"id":7749,"date":"2012-03-27T06:33:39","date_gmt":"2012-03-27T06:33:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.musicademy.com\/?p=7749"},"modified":"2022-10-26T11:52:45","modified_gmt":"2022-10-26T11:52:45","slug":"preventing-burnout-pastors-wives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.musicademy.com\/blog\/preventing-burnout-pastors-wives\/","title":{"rendered":"Preventing Burnout For Pastors\u2019 Wives. 7 signs of stress and how to prevent it."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #63a3c1;\"><em>\u201cHELP WANTED: Pastor\u2019s wife. Must sing, play music, lead youth groups, raise seraphic children, entertain church notables, minister to other wives, have ability to recite Bible backward and choreograph Christmas pageant. Must keep pastor sated, peaceful and out of trouble. Difficult colleagues, demanding customers, erratic hours. Pay: $0.\u201d <em><sup>6<\/sup><\/em><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Burnout is a very real issue in ministry. As a pastor\u2019s wife, mother, and self-employed consultant I have struggled with trying to do too many things for too many people on my own strength for far too long. I recently took a course called \u201cFacilitating Work-Life Balance\u201d and a seminar about juggling life for the modern Christian woman with Shaunti Feldham. In this article you will find practical tips on recognizing burnout and steps to prevent and recover from it. There are also lots of additional resources for you to explore. Don\u2019t forget to take a look at my Burnout for Pastors\u2019 Wives Tip Sheet.<\/p>\n<p>So lets start with what is burnout? Burnout is:<em> \u201cA state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion marked by physical depletion and chronic fatigue, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and by development of a negative self-concept and negative attitudes towards work, life and other people.\u201d <\/em><em>Christina Maslach<sup>1<\/sup><\/em><\/p>\n<h2>Signs and Symptoms<\/h2>\n<p>Being the \u201cPastor\u2019s Wife\u201d may sound like a prestigious title but life in the fishbowl brings with it lots of pressure, unrelenting stress, and unrealistic expectations.<sup>2<\/sup> Without a strategy to manage the physical, emotional, and spiritual demands of your role, you may crash. You may be on the road to burnout if you are feeling like:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Caring about your home, work, or church is a waste of energy<\/li>\n<li>You\u2019re always exhausted, tired, and feeling drained<\/li>\n<li>You have frequent unexplained headaches, muscle aches and pains, or frequent illnesses<\/li>\n<li>You don\u2019t want to be around people and try to isolate yourself<\/li>\n<li>Nothing you do is appreciated or makes a difference<sup>3<\/sup><\/li>\n<li>You\u2019re helpless and alone and there is no way out<\/li>\n<li>You\u2019re cynical and negative towards life in general<sup>1<\/sup><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cThe Pastor\u2019s wife is the only woman I know who is asked to work full time without pay on her husband\u2019s job, in a role no one has yet defined\u201d Ruth White<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><sup><!--more--><\/sup><\/p>\n<h2>Prevention<\/h2>\n<p>Preventing burnout is a combination of self-care, setting priorities, and stress management. Some things you could do to prevent burnout are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Spend time alone daily nurturing your relationship with God, journaling, reflecting on something inspirational, or time in prayer. In those moments you will find hope.<\/li>\n<li>Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, and exercise regularly.<\/li>\n<li>Set boundaries and learn to say \u201cno\u201d to overcommitment<sup>4<\/sup>.<\/li>\n<li>Discover strategies to manage your stress and banish feelings of helplessness.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Recovery Strategies<sup>3<\/sup><\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li>Slow Down \u2013 Take a break from commitments to reflect, rest, and heal.<\/li>\n<li>Get Support \u2013 Don\u2019t isolate yourself. Reach out to someone you trust. There are a number of online resources especially for pastors\u2019 wives.<sup>5<\/sup><\/li>\n<li>Reevaluate Life \u2013 Burnout is a sign that something needs to be fixed. Reflect on your purpose in life. Sort out your priorities, and figure out what is missing.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2>Additional Resources<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Preventing Burnout.<\/em> (n.d.) Retrieved January 28, 2011 from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/mental\/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm\">http:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/mental\/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm<\/a> This website provides helpful information on the signs, symptoms, causes, and coping strategies for preventing burnout. It contains a significant amount of useful information tips, links and resources for dealing with burnout. This website would be useful for anyone who would like to prevent burnout, is approaching burnout, or is recovering from burnout.<\/li>\n<li><em>Pastors\u2019 Wives Thriving<\/em>. (n.d.) Retrieved January 28, 2011 from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.pastorswives.org\">http:\/\/www.pastorswives.org<\/a> This website provides online support and encouragement for the wives of pastors, ministers, missionaries, and clergy through a members only forum. The forum is particularly useful for pastors\u2019 wives who feel alone and that no one knows what they are going through in their role. This website is recommended for all pastors\u2019 wives who are looking for support or would like to lend support to others through their forum.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote><p>This post first appeared at The Youth Pastor&#8217;s Wife blog written by\u00a0Miranda Vande Kuyt. Miranda describes herself as a juggler; a master at managing multiple life roles.\u00a0 She is a youth pastor&#8217;s wife, a mother, and a self-employed consultant.\u00a0 She enjoys coaching those entering the ministry in career development and achieving work\/life balance. For more tips for pastors&#8217; wives please visit her blog at\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/mirandavandekuyt.wordpress.com\">mirandavandekuyt.wordpress.com<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2>End Notes<\/h2>\n<p><sup>1<\/sup> Croucher, Rowland. (n.d.) <em>Stress and Burnout in Ministry.<\/em> Retrieved January 28, 2011 from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.churchlink.com.au\/churchlink\/forum\/r_croucher\/stress_burnout.html\">http:\/\/www.churchlink.com.au\/churchlink\/forum\/r_croucher\/stress_burnout.html<\/a><\/p>\n<p><sup>2<\/sup> Croucher, Rowland. (January 3, 2003) <em>What Pastors\u2019 Wives Wish Their Husbands And Churches Knew About Them.<\/em> Retrieved January 28, 2011 from http:\/\/jmm.aaa.net.au\/articles\/8202.htm<\/p>\n<p><sup>3<\/sup> <em>Preventing Burnout.<\/em> (n.d.) Retrieved January 28, 2011 from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/mental\/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm#what\">http:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/mental\/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm#what<\/a><\/p>\n<p><sup>4<\/sup> Vande Kuyt, Miranda. (April 6, 2010) <em>Just Say \u201cNo\u201d: Dealing With Overcommitment. <\/em>Retrieved January 28, 2011 from http:\/\/mirandavandekuyt.wordpress.com\/2010\/04\/06\/overcommitment<\/p>\n<p><sup>5<\/sup> Vande Kuyt, Miranda. (March 20, 2010) <em>Resources for Pastors\u2019 Wives<\/em>. Retrieved January 28, 2011 from http:\/\/mirandavandekuyt.wordpress.com\/2010\/03\/20\/resources-for-pastors-wives<\/p>\n<p><sup>6<\/sup> Cullen, Lisa Takeuchi. (March 29, 2007) <em>Pastors\u2019 Wives Come Together<\/em>. Retrieved January 28, 2011 from http:\/\/www.time.com\/time\/magazine\/article\/0,9171,1604902-1,00.html<\/p>\n<div id=\"geo-post-471\" class=\"geo geo-post\" style=\"display: none;\"><span class=\"latitude\">53.540941<\/span><br \/>\n<span class=\"longitude\">-113.493698<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cHELP WANTED: Pastor\u2019s wife. Must sing, play music, lead youth groups, raise seraphic children, entertain church notables, minister to other wives, have ability to recite Bible backward and choreograph Christmas pageant. Must keep pastor sated, peaceful and out of trouble. Difficult colleagues, demanding customers, erratic hours. Pay: $0.\u201d 6 &nbsp; Burnout is a very real [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5303,"featured_media":8201,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[14],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>HELP WANTED: Pastor\u2019s wife. Must sing, play music, lead youth groups, raise seraphic children, entertain church notables<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Must keep pastor sated, peaceful and out of trouble. Difficult colleagues, demanding customers, erratic hours. Pay: $0. 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